March 12, 2007

Headliners

Hatched by Dafydd

I simply love this headline:

Jolie Overwhelmed at 1st by Refugee Work

Angelina Jolie overwhelmed at 1st? Heck, considering her extensive experience -- particularly in taxicabs -- I would have expected her to be pretty comfortable at every base, especially home plate.

Not to be outdone (or underdone), Reuters offers this provacative gem:

Sudan orchestrated Darfur crimes, U.N. mission says

Probably used lots of brass and African drums, I'd imagine. Did they get Lalo Schifrin to do it?

And this, yonder:

North Korea nuclear disarmament complex

North Korea Nuclear Disarmament Complex: That's when all you can think about is having... oh, let's not continue that thought.

Instead, here's a charming example of a "gremlin," a newspaper word for a headline that can be read equally well two very different ways:

Saddam trial judge seeks asylum in Britain

Well... Bedlam springs to mind.

I reckon I'm pretty normal; I put my pants on two legs at a time, just like everybody else. I typically read only the headline, rarely the body of the story.

And sometimes, as in these cases, the headline is just too darned good to muddy up with quotidian content!

Hatched by Dafydd on this day, March 12, 2007, at the time of 4:58 AM

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Comments

The following hissed in response by: nk

Mobster Acquitted, Jury Hung

The above hissed in response by: nk [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 12, 2007 9:50 AM

The following hissed in response by: charlotte

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"

"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"

"Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead"

"Miners Refuse to Work After Death"

"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"

"Stolen Painting Found by Tree"

"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"

"Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge"

"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"

"Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors"

"Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted"

"Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One"

(And my favorite, since I love children and organic gardening)

"Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden"

The above hissed in response by: charlotte [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 12, 2007 11:08 AM

The following hissed in response by: Dafydd ab Hugh

Charlotte:

Heh, I have actually typed all of the headlines from all of the Anguished English books into my sig file, where they're randomly combined with my static name on every e-mail (and BBS post) I make.

My personal favorites:

  • This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. White to come forward to lay an egg on the altar.
  • The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, and these can be seen in the church basement Friday afternoon.
  • Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
  • Live Horse Racing Today
  • Ears Pierced While You Wait

Great books!

Dafydd

The above hissed in response by: Dafydd ab Hugh [TypeKey Profile Page] at March 12, 2007 2:07 PM

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