Category ►►► Stupid Criminal Tricks
March 31, 2006
Sumo Criminal Tricks
Rule Number One: When burglarizing residences in Japan -- stay away from buildings inhabited by twenty or more top Sumo wrestlers.
This is the sort of advice that doesn't seem to need much explanation.
A Japanese burglar who thought he was lucky to find an unlocked door was shocked to be arrested by 20 massive sumo wrestlers who were staying at the building....
Konoshin Kawabata, 48, was rummaging inside a room in Osaka in the early hours when he was suddenly confronted by wrestler Dewanosato, who stands 180 centimeters (five-foot-10-inches) and weighs 131 kilograms (289 pounds).
"Without thinking, my body moved," Dewanosato, whose real name is Hideyuki Kawahara, told reporters. "I caught the guy and bear-hugged him."
It was a citizen's arrest, said a police spokesman.
Hearing the commotion, the other members of the Sumo "stable" popped out and surrounded Kawabata-san, more than 2.5 tons of angry, chankonabe-chomping champs. Kawabata-san might ponder the Japanese expression 人間万事塞翁が馬, "human affairs are like Saiou's horse" -- what looks like good luck might really be bad luck!
December 21, 2005
The Mugger Or the Tiger?
According to Fox News, one of a pair of muggers who robbed a couple at knifepoint in South Africa fled the scene... and thought to elude the police by darting into a zoo. He pondered his position with a great grinding of gears, then decided to hide where nobody would ever think to look for him: in the tigers' cage.
He was right. Nobody did.
His mauled body was discovered Sunday by a visitor to the zoo in Bloemfontein, in central Southern Africa, prompting initial confusion as to how the man ended up in the enclosure....
"What exactly happened we don't know [I think I could hazard a guess. -- the Mgt.] and we won't ever know because the only person who could tell us is dead," police spokeswoman Else Gerber said.
So what could prompt a person to pick such a ludicrous place to hide out?
[Gerber] said there was an empty can of beer near the corpse and that the autopsy would reveal whether the man was intoxicated at the time.
Ah yes, of course. We had a couple of beers and the gun went off. I can't remember anything that happened that night. Gee, I don't know... it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now would be an excellent time to pop Brad Paisley's CD Time Well Wasted into the player and crank up cut number two, "Alcohol."
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me,
October 5, 2005
She Wants Her Money Back
Speaks for itself.
Private eye nabbed after woman contacts police over his failure to kill lover's wife.
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