Category ►►► High-Falutin' High-Larity
February 5, 2011
Glenn of Arabia
The Secret True Truth
Revealed by Brad Linaweaver
The scales have fallen from my eyes. It is now perfectly clear that anarchists, minarchists, Objectivists, constitutional conservatives, right wing radio, and the Tea Party are all in on a secret Islamic conspiracy.
Agorism is the worst of all.
Of course, I have an unfair advantage. As one of the culprits myself, let me be the first to admit we are all bought and paid for in gold dinars.
But the jig is up. A few honest Republicans have seen through the scheme, patriots like Duncan Hunter and John McCain. You see, any freezing or cutting in military spending makes us part of the World Caliphate (arriving by Tuesday)! Actually, we need to increase military spending, right now.
Our Islamo-libertarian propaganda is very clever. Any suggestion that America could ever run out of money is Jihad propaganda. The Muslim Brotherhood must all be fans of Atlas Shrugged and Alongside Night.
The most pernicious secret agents of Islam in America may be found in the Off Grid movement. These immoral hoodlums won't even pretend that they should pay their taxes.
The evil Neil Boortz has actually made patriotic Americans question their duty to pay income tax. The only guarantee in this dangerous world that the Pentagon will have enough is through the IRS and the income tax. It is shockingly naive to think that anything else is reliable.
Naturally, Ron Paul and Rand Paul are high level traitors. A more subtle infiltration is courtesy of Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann. They pretend to support America and yet lend tacit support to small government movements that could limit the amount of tax revenue essential to propping up Western Civilization in this war of survival.
Clearly, the Muslim Brotherhood, Al Queda, and MSNBC must secretly approve of the gold bugs in the right wing who would take money away from the American State in this time of peril. Every day is the Alamo is Pearl Harbor is 9-11.
But who would be diabolical enough to be running the whole scheme? He would have to pretend to oppose the World Caliphate, while actually persuading Americans to opt out of the system. Imagine using international gold instead of patriotic National Scrip to support the troops, God bless them.
Or do we really mean "Allah"?
Who is the Benedict Arnold in America? He couldn't be an out and out Muslim. He couldn't be a conventional Christian. He couldn't be a Jew. Who could he be? He couldn't even be a secular humanist.
If only a religion existed that was sort of half Muslim; a religion in which Jesus Christ is a miracle worker from God -- like in the Koran -- but not a manifestation of the actual godhead. Such a religion could confuse everyone: It could breach the Judeo-Christian wall around America and let in the bad ideas that must lead ultimately to the Caliphate. If only a representative of such a religion could preach the Gospel of Gold, and trick Americans into not paying their essential taxes.
Let's see. What is such a religion? The Mormons! Well, is there a gold bug leader? Glenn Beck!
Beck is the secret leader of radical Islam in the USA! He brings together the elites into a strange alliance for a radical new world order.
Don't trust me. Do your own research. You'll see the truth on your own.
January 5, 2009
The World Has Gone Mad part XXIII
Today, walking home from the gym, I had to dodge a car that intruded unpleasantly into the crosswalk.
It was a Ferrari, horsey logo and all: a Ferrari SUV.
Is it just me?
April 18, 2006
Unelected Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez remains in his position only by dint of an "election" in 2000 that even Jimmy Carter declared invalid, and a recall election in 2004 where exit polls showed Chavez losing 60-40... but when Chavez's team finished counting the ballots, they discovered, mirabile dictu, that he had won by 60-40, instead.
Today, he steadfastly maintains that the United States is plotting to assassinate him, invade Venezuela, and steal Caracas. Or all the oil... we're there to steal something, that's for sure. And now he adds a new chapter to the annals of his reign (which double as university textbooks for abnormal psych).
Hugo Chavez now declares that the Caribbean Sea is off limits to American warships; we must leave and not return. In this, he presumes to speak not only for Venezuela, long a victim of American running-dog imperialism, but also for Cuba, long a victim of Castroite running-nose poverty:
President Hugo Chavez, who accuses Washington of planning to invade Venezuela, said on Tuesday recent deployment of U.S. warships in the Caribbean Sea threatened his country and its ally Cuba.
Four U.S. warships, including an aircraft carrier, and 6,500 sailors, are in a two-month deployment in the Caribbean Sea dubbed "Partnership of the Americas" by the U.S. Navy.
"They are doing maneuvers right here," Chavez told a student meeting in the country's west. "This is a threat, not just against us, against Venezuela, against Cuba."
He is particularly irked that we dropped anchor at Aruba, which he appears to believe he owns. (We await the inevitable "all your base are belong to us.")
Hugo Chavez has also revealed the military plan by which his citizen militia will repel America's inevitable invasion of fair Caracas:
Chavez, who has created a civilian reserve to resist the assault he says Washington is planning, has threatened to repel U.S. forces with arrows coated with poison.
You'd think he could at least borrow some Brazillian blowgunners.
Needless to say, I strongly suspect that we will not honor his demand. We will continue projecting American might (including our naval vanguard, Royal Caribbean cruise ships) into Aruba and many other islands. (As a side issue, in my one cruise in the Caribbean, we did, in fact, dock in Caracas, Venezuela. It was just a city back then, not the socialist paradise it is now, the envy of the world, and the concerted target of the Lexus of evil, the United States of America. After conducting intelligence-gathering operations for the Navy, I rejoined my parents and we continued on to Grenada.)
One wonders how long it will be before Hugo's head bursts open like a cocoon... and what, exactly, will come slithering out.
February 26, 2006
Peeling the Onion
I was cruising Patterico's Pontifications doing my usual ego-search for my own name -- which, let's face it, is pretty much all I ever do on any blogsite -- when I stumbled across a link Giuseppe Fortunino Francesco Patterico had to a hilarious story from the Onion, the premier website for parody and satire. You just have to check this one out:
White House Had Prior Knowledge Of Cheney Threat
Aug. 2005 Briefing Warned, 'Cheney Determined To Shoot Old Man In Face'
February 20, 2006 | Issue 42•08
WASHINGTON, DC—Government documents declassified today reveal that President Bush was briefed last summer of "a substantial risk" that Vice President Dick Cheney would shoot an elderly male in the face sometime in the next several months.
Read the rest... it's priceless! (By which I mean it's free, of course; so what are you slobs waiting for, an engraved invitation? Cushlamocree!)
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