Category ►►► Alcohol, the Third Major Food Group
August 27, 2008
More Lizardian Drinking Games
Here are a few more, taken from two of my favorite contact sports: movies and politics. Play them at your own risk.
To the king
Take a shot every time Barack H. Obama exhibits classic symptoms of megalomania.
To the queen also
You must drink whenever Hillary Rodham Clinton Rodham says anything condescending.
We, the lying
Watch the elite media's coverage of a political event -- a convention, a debate, a fundraiser, etc. Toss back a shot every time one of the unbiased reporters accidentally refers to the Democrats in first person plural.
Have an Irish whiskey (neat) every time John McCain refers to his audience as "my friends."
Edward the red-nosed senator
Have a cocktail whenever it appears that Ted Kennedy has had a cocktail.
Listen to Dennis Kucinich speak and have a shot whenever he starts sounding like Marvin the Martian.
Watch the Republican National Convention. Take a drink whenever you hear anything depressing or defeatist.
Geneva Convention definition of torture
Watch the Democratic National Convention. Take a drink whenever you feel the urgent need to do so.
Liver of the thin man
Watch any William Powell, Myrna Loy movie. Have a drink whenever either one of them does (if you're a real mensch, have the same drink they do).
Wheel in the sky keeps on turning
Take a drink whenever you hear about another Hollywood remake of a classic move. Or a cult movie. Or a successful comic book, videogame, or amusement-park ride.
Watch any Hollywood musical made post 1970. Have a shot whenever any principal sings three bars on key. (This one is safe for minors, pregnant women, and alcoholics.)
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