Big Lizards:Blog:Entry “New York Looking (Just a Little) Brighter”

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June 6, 2006

New York Looking (Just a Little) Brighter

Hatched by Dafydd

The great state of New York is looking up a bit for Republicans (just a wee, sma' bit), now that carpetbagger William Weld has finally got a close look at the clue-by-four and dropped out of the race for the Republican nomination for governor of New York.

The Duke

Yeah, yeah, I know; Weld was born in New York. Egad. But his family's coat of arms is in the dictionary under "Boston Brahmin," and he went to school in Connecticut: he's really only slightly more of a New Yorker than Hillary Clinton.

The Dutchess

Until today, he was duking it out with John Faso, who has already won the nomination of the Conservative Party of New York; perhaps it's not entirely true, but the rumor hath it that no Republican nominee has won statewide office in recent years without also being the Conservative nominee. Thus, history indicates that Weld could not have won the race, while Faso at least has a chance.

The Doge

Folks have been nudzhing Weld to drop out for almost as long as they've been screaming in Katherine Harris' ear to do the manly thing in Florida. (Weld at least listened; his giddy tango is ended. Harris is still out to prove that she can be just as mule-headed as any man.)

The problem is that two Napoleon Bonapartes is one too many: and since Faso has already been crowned le Roi d'Italia, the party figured he'd have a better chance at oozing into l'Empereur des Français as well -- Emperor of the Empire State.

The Corsican

The spoiler in all this -- our Wellington -- is Eliot Spitzer, who despite his name is seen by most as governor in all but name. Even though he hasn't actually won the preliminary yet (a mere formality, though there's that Thomas Suozzi feller), he has a legitimate shot at the title bout. Just as Rudy Giuliani rose from U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, trying all those Wall Street corruption cases, to the mayorality of New York City -- perversely enough, usually considered the higher title than governor of the whole blessed state -- Spitzer hopes to rise from being a mere state attorney general to the governorship.

The Dastard, the Dupe, the Dauphin

Actually, our analogy is ill-chosen; the person that Spitzer reminds me of more than anybody else is Dominique de Villepin, Crock Jacques Chirac's left arm in battle... and a man surely better associated with Napoleon Bonaparte than is John Faso.

The Dominatrix

This isn't likely to be a cliff-biter: the most recent Quinnipiac poll I've seen -- the lingua franca of Empire State polling -- has Spitzer skunking Faso by 67% to 16%. Likely, that will narrow a bit; it's hard to believe that Spitzer will actually wind up winning by 51 points. But it's equally tough to swallow that Faso would win by anything.

Still, if Faso is to have any chance at all, he must be quickly accepted as both the Republican and the Conservative candidate, and then get several months to focus like a laser beam on Eliot Spitzer's weasely eyes. Not much of a chance, perhaps; but ought's better than nought any day.

Hatched by Dafydd on this day, June 6, 2006, at the time of 11:58 PM