September 6, 2012

Conventional Warfare

Hatched by Korso

America can breathe a collective sigh of relief now that the Democratic National Convention is over. The speakers came (Sandra Fluke), they saw (Michelle Obama) and they conquered (Bill Clinton -- wait a second, is he running again?), but in the end not a heck of a lot was said that we hadn't heard before. To sum it up neatly: Obama 2012: Free Birth Control, Free Abortions, Free People -- well, that last part not so much. And all for the bargain price of $16 trillion and counting!

For what was supposed to be a big party for the Big Tent Party, though, the entire affair seemed a bit of a bummer. For one thing, Hillary got about as far away as possible short of a visit to McMurdo Station in Antarctica, depriving the assembled delegates of an encore performance of her "I don't feel no ways tired" shtick (which, for my money, was far more entertaining than anybody else's remarks). It also seemed as if everyone spent the whole time making excuses for why things haven't gotten any better over the last four years. Like throwing a graduation party for a kid whole flunked 12th grade for the second time, it all felt kind of depressing. Perhaps things might have livened up a bit had someone the good sense to spike the punch bowl.

But at least the Dems managed to coax a coherent theme out of the convention: Four More Years, Because The First Four Just Weren't Enough! Slick Willy made the point rather eloquently:

President Obama started with a much weaker economy than I did. No President -- not me or any of my predecessors could have repaired all the damage in just four years. But conditions are improving and if you'll renew the President's contract you will feel it.

That last bit sounds like something Bill might have whispered to Monica in one of those moments when they were never alone together. Unfortunately, it also conflicts with what Barack Obama himself said back in 2009:

Look, I’m at the start of my administration. One nice thing about the situation I find myself in is that I will be held accountable. You know, I’ve got four years. And, you know, a year from now I think people are going to see that we’re starting to make some progress. But there’s still going to be some pain out there. If I don’t have this done in three years, then there’s going to be a one-term proposition.

As Homer Simpson might say, "D'oh!"

Clinton also mentioned offhandedly how he had never hated Republicans the way that the "far right" hates Obama and the Democrats right now. Apparently at least one of the Democrat delegates didn't get the memo, and is now answering some friendly questions from the Secret Service as a result:

"He will destroy this country, completely. Romney will destroy this country," [delegate Julia Rodriguez] said. "If I see him, I would like to kill him."

Perhaps she meant "kill" in the ironic sense? Well, maybe -- but the love fest didn't stop there, as all the gratuitous Nazi references trotted out by the Dems so nicely illustrated. Guess all that hope and change from 2008 caught the last train for the coast the day the jobs all died. Sigh.

So what can we take away from all this? I think Marco Rubio said it perfectly at the Republican convention: "Our problem with President Obama isn't that he's a bad person... Our problem is he's a bad president." That's the message the GOP wants to convey to voters. The Dems, meanwhile, want you to think that Republicans are fascist pigs who want to take away your birth control and give your money to rich fat cats who light cigars with burning $100 bills. Well, it's their party and they'll cry if they want to. What else can you expect from a bunch of people who view American exceptionalism like it's some kind of sin? As for me, I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun.

So is, as it turns out, the GOP. Cheers, everybody!

Hatched by Korso on this day, September 6, 2012, at the time of 5:43 PM


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