March 16, 2009

More Things That Make You Go "Hm," but Are Just a Little Longer Than 140 Characters...

Hatched by Dafydd

Nothing personal; just business

Under the heading, Salvadoran ex-rebels win presidency for first time, we read the following:

[Mauricio Funes, who AP describes as "a moderate plucked from outside the ranks of the rebel-group-turned-political-party" FMLN], 49, rode a wave of discontent with two decades of Arena party rule that have brought economic growth but done little to redress social inequalities. Fuel and food prices have soared, while powerful gangs extort businesses and fight for drug-dealing turf, resulting in one of Latin America's highest homicides rates.

Funes promised to crack down on big businesses which he says exploit government complacency to evade taxes.

Yeah, that'll lower food prices, break up the gangs, end the drug scourge, and lower the homicide rate!

And then you'll be sorry!

AP warns of certain dangers arising from Israel's efforts to form a new government:

Prime Minister-designate Benjamin Netanyahu's Likud Party has initialed a coalition agreement with an ultranationalist faction that brings its leader significantly closer to becoming foreign minister, a Likud party spokeswoman said Monday.

Avigdor Lieberman, who heads the right-wing Yisrael Beitenu party, has drawn accusations of racism for proposing that Israel's Arab citizens sign loyalty oaths or lose their citizenship. Although that plan is not likely to be implemented, his designation as foreign minister could harm Israel's international ties.

The European Union urged Netanyahu to craft a government that embraces the long-standing goal of an independent Palestinian state living side by side with Israel - signaling that the appointment of Lieberman as foreign minister would be seen in Europe as a setback to Middle East peace efforts.

"Let me say very clearly that the way the European Union will relate to an (Israeli) government that is not committed to a two-state solution will be very, very different," Javier Solana, the EU's foreign and security affairs chief, said Sunday.

"Different," how? The top-ten ways the EU can respond to a Netanyahu-Lieberman government:

  1. They'll go from blaming Israel for all the troubles on this planet to blaming them for the runaway greenhouse effect on Venus as well.
  2. All future international sporting events will be held exclusively in Malmo, Sweden.
  3. Continent-wide ban on those Sit 'n Sleep commercials with Larry and Irwin.
  4. The twelve little stars on the EU flag changed to tiny crescents.
  5. French-language remake of Hogan's Heroes, but with Col. Klink and Sgt. Schultz as the good guys.
  6. New motto: Dreyfus was a fink!
  7. European Union outlaws Manischewitz wine, matzoh balls, and Halvah.
  8. All European flags that include the Israeli-linked colors of light blue and white altered to lite green (in honor of Islam, environmentalism, and lo-cal soft drinks) and yellow (if you know what I mean, and I think you do).
  9. L'Académie française formally rules that henceforth, the American president is to be referred to exclusively as "Hussein Hussein."

And the number one response to a Netanyahu-Lieberman Israeli government...

  1. Introducing incoming President of the European Commission Chas Freeman!

Hatched by Dafydd on this day, March 16, 2009, at the time of 1:44 PM

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