February 20, 2009

Gitmo Litella-ville Blues: Obama Report Says... 'Never Mind!'

Hatched by Dafydd

Oh, please read this story in the New York Times titled "Guantánamo Meets Geneva Rules, Study Finds":

A Pentagon report requested by President Obama on the conditions at the Guantánamo Bay detention center concluded that the prison complies with the humane-treatment requirements of the Geneva Conventions.

All right; then what in bloody blue blazes were the skirt-hiking, chair-jumping Democrats shrieking about all these years?

"What's all this I hear about pioneers being tartared? Didn't our brave ancestors have enough trouble crossing the Alps in their covered wagons without being assaulted by a condiment? And why tartar sauce? It would be much more American to mustard them, or ketch them up, rather than using some fishy foreign sauce squeezed from a plastic packet! If we can't show some respect for our forty-niner forebears, then I don't know what --"

Now that the Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility is Barack H. Obama's baby, it's anybody's game: The Pentagon can issue the same sort of report it routinely issued during the Bush administration; but that was then, this is now. Back during the tyranny of the chimp, such reports were routinely savaged, mocked, and made into exhibits in federal human-rights lawsuits. Today, they're simply accepted as more evidence of the fantastic job that the One is doing... look, he's only been president for a month, and already Gitmo is Geneva-clean!

As the great Emily Litella would say...

"Oh. Prisoners, not pioneers? And tortured, not tartared? That's very different."

Emily Litella

"Never mind!"

Hatched by Dafydd on this day, February 20, 2009, at the time of 10:19 PM

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