Big Lizards:Blog:Entry “ABC Newsflash: 100% of US Troops In Iraq Plan to Vote Democratic”

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April 8, 2008

ABC Newsflash: 100% of US Troops In Iraq Plan to Vote Democratic

Hatched by Dafydd

In an ABC News story titled "Surprising Political Endorsements By U.S. Troops," crack reporter Martha Raddatz finds that 80% of all troops interviewed plan to vote for Barack Obama, while 20% plan to vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton Rodham. None at all plans to vote for John McCain.

60% of all the soldiers interviewed said the main reason they supported Obama was that he would bring them, personally, home immediately, regardless of whether the job is finished.

That includes 20% whose support for Obama was due to the fact that he would "probably support us a lot more." Raddatz helpfully clarified: By "support," that 20% interviewed meant "pulling out troops."

20% cited Obama's "representation for change." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but clearly Republicans are all lying criminals.

By contrast, the remaining 20% of all American troops interviewed supported Hillary Clinton, because "we should have a gradual drawdown."

No troops whatsoever supported McCain, or indeed made reference to him. It's doubtful that anyone in the military is aware that the Republican Party still exists. Even those who seemed to support the mission generally were not quoted as having any particular preference for president, oddly enough. One can only surmise that soldiers must look down upon veterans with a strong and particular distaste.

Surprisingly enough, the American military in Iraq totally opposes the war and wants an immediate end to it, no matter what happens, according to ABC:

Though the military is generally a more conservative group, soldiers like Sgt. Justin Sarbaum are just as eager for a pull-out as the Democratic candidates. Sarbaum said he wondered which presidential candidate would be able to better the U.S. relationship with rogue nations, such as Iran, so that soldiers are not sent off to another war.

"Iran is obviously a big issue," Sarbaum said, "Here in Iraq for my third time; starting another war right now -- is it really necessary?"

Although some might think that the survey's sample size -- five soldiers -- is somewhat, er, scant, the overwhelming, Saddam-sized support for a Democrat in the White House in 2008 (100% of all soldiers whose interviews ABC printed) surely makes up for not having interviewed, say, 1200 or 1500 soldiers instead of five.

(And in fact, to be fair to ABC, they did interview six additional soldiers but chose not to print their preferences for president. You can't say ABC didn't go the extra mile.)

Based on the astonishing unanimity of opinion, it's very clear that the Army hates George W. Bush as commander in chief and would much prefer Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton. Once again, the elite media has exposed another myth pushed by Christianist conservatives: that soldiers actually want to win the wars they fight. Now that we know they don't care about the mission -- only their personal safety -- I believe the Democrats can and should make a strong case for dissolving the military entirely.

If voters are concerned about so-called "national security," perhaps a bunch of yeoman farmers (equally divided between the sexes and all races, proportionately represented, except for males without color) -- armed with olive branches, trained doves, horns of plenty, and inflatable puppets -- would do a better job "defending" America than a bunch of warmongers in "uniform."

I believe we all owe ABC a debt of "gratitude" (and a couple of Pullet Surprises) for opening our eyes to the "lies" we have swallowed since 1776.

Hatched by Dafydd on this day, April 8, 2008, at the time of 3:22 PM

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Comments

The following hissed in response by: Towering Barbarian

Heh. For some reason I am becoming reminded of Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf. Who would have thought that he would get a job with ABC? ^_~

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad_Saeed_al-Sahhaf

The above hissed in response by: Towering Barbarian at April 8, 2008 4:48 PM

The following hissed in response by: GW

Any bets that the individuals interviewed were all Combat Service Support troops, busy bitching about how hard their life is from deep in the Green Zone. I would imagine the closest any of them have come to 11B is to pass one occasionally on their way to the mess hall. What horse manure.

The above hissed in response by: GW at April 8, 2008 6:31 PM

The following hissed in response by: TerryeL

Well I guess this means the Democrats will not have to try to disenfranchise military voters this year.

It should be remembered that the US Military is a volunteer military and if these guys do not want to fight wars they do not have to join.

The above hissed in response by: TerryeL at April 8, 2008 6:39 PM

The following hissed in response by: Rovin

Kudo's to ABC for racing up the to the finish line along side the likes of CNN, NBC and the rest of our propaganda induced news media.

The above hissed in response by: Rovin at April 8, 2008 7:02 PM

The following hissed in response by: Cain

This is a brilliant story. It's sad that the Democrats have to be tricked into allowing all military votes to count but if this is what it takes, I'm all for it.

The above hissed in response by: Cain at April 8, 2008 7:19 PM

The following hissed in response by: hunter

I am sure Sadr, hiding out during his MSM-declared 'victory' appreciates the help, but wishes it had been a bit sooner.

The above hissed in response by: hunter at April 9, 2008 6:01 AM

The following hissed in response by: Patrick Chester

GW wrote:

Any bets that the individuals interviewed were all Combat Service Support troops, busy bitching about how hard their life is from deep in the Green Zone. I would imagine the closest any of them have come to 11B is to pass one occasionally on their way to the mess hall. What horse manure.

How about another bet: on the amount of soldiers whose answers were discarded because it didn't match what the reporter wanted to put in the story?

The above hissed in response by: Patrick Chester at April 9, 2008 6:01 AM

The following hissed in response by: Dan Kauffman