October 8, 2007
What's All This I Hear...
...About a brutal military junta in Miramar? What are all those flyboys doing down there in San Diego?
Are their flightsuit jockstraps too tight? Has that good Navy chow gone to their heads? These jet-jocks have every advantage: a college degree, hundreds of dollars of training, and those lovely scarves and goggles they wear while flying their aeroplanes.
But do they appreciate all that? No... instead, they have to set up a junta -- and they can't even pronounce it right! That's a J, not an H; how could college-educated men not be able to read?
But the "junta" isn't bad enough: They have to run out and oppress a bunch of monkeys! What have those sweet, innocent monks done that our fighter pilots at NAS Miramar have to arrest and beat them? That's animal cruelty... and where are the ASCAP and PTA and all those other so-called "animal warfare" groups? Those poor, shivering monks always look so cute in their little caps and uniforms, tipping their hats when people toss a few pennies to the organ grinders. It's a crime that grown Navy pilots feel like they have to start a war against them!
And for what? Just for demanding civil libraries! I mean, who wants libraries that are uncivil, with people saying coarse things about each other and making faces?
I'm with the monkeys. I want my libraries to be civil places, where people can go in peace without having to worry about...
What's that? A military junta where -- in Myanmar? Fighting against Buddhist monks?
Oh! That's very different.
[With some apologies to -- and lots of snickering at -- the poor sap of a newsreader at Fox News Channel Friday, who reported a new crackdown by the "military junta in Miramar;" and in fond memory of the late, great Gilda Radner, the funniest woman who ever lived.]
Hatched by Dafydd on this day, October 8, 2007, at the time of 2:44 PM
TrackBack URL for this hissing: http://biglizards.net/mt3.36/earendiltrack.cgi/2485
The following hissed in response by: Pyrran
"What is all this fuss I hear about the Supreme Court decision on a "deaf" penalty? It's terrible! Deaf people have enough problems as it is!" Other misunderstood topics included Saving Soviet Jewelry ("Jewry"), Endangered Feces, Flea Erections in China, Making Puerto Rico a Steak ("..next thing you know, they'll want a baked potato with sour cream!"), Presidential Erections, Pouring Money into Canker Research, the Eagle Rights Amendment, Busting Children (bussing children), Conserving our Natural Racehorses, Youth in Asia (Euthanasia), and Violins (violence) on Television.
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