Big Lizards:Blog:Entry “Congress Elects Itself President”

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April 10, 2007

Congress Elects Itself President

Hatched by Dafydd

Congress is getting frisky.

Flush with their success in anointing themselves Commanders in Chief of the armed forces (via the supplementary funding bill for the troops) and chiefs of foreign policy (applauding as Squeaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, D-Haight-Ashbury, 95%, negotiates a separate peace at any price with Bashar Assad), Democratic and a few Republican legislators now want the rest of the cake.

They plan to pass a bill establishing a new heirarchy of national security and intelligence priorities for the United States. Demoted from the top spots are global jihadism and terrorist financing networks, the Middle East, nuclear proliferation, CBW, Red China, and North Korea.

Promoted to the top spot will be -- wait for it -- global climate change!

The CIA and Pentagon would for the first time be required to assess the national security implications of climate change under proposed legislation intended to elevate global warming to a national defense issue.

The bipartisan proposal, which its sponsors expect to pass the Congress with wide support, calls for the director of national intelligence to conduct the first-ever "national intelligence estimate" on global warming.

In other news, this month is shaping up as the coldest April ever. Except on Capitol Hill, which is experiencing an unusually hot high-pressure zone.

Lest you think Congress can be satisfied merely by a quick study, which finds that there are no such "national security implications," legislators insist not only that the CIA and the Department of Defenser report -- they demand the Executive agencies arrive at the correct conclusions... and then act on them:

The measure also would order the Pentagon to undertake a series of war games to determine how global climate change could affect US security, including "direct physical threats to the United States posed by extreme weather events such as hurricanes."

The article makes it pretty plain that the purpose is to completely bypass the EPA and the president and simply force the country to implement the Democrats' preferred solutions (smash the looms, same as their solution to "global cooling" in the 1970s). Once again, science is to be decided by a roll-call vote in the House and Senate:

The growing attention to global warming as a national security issue could open new avenues of support for tougher efforts to limit greenhouse gases, according to specialists.

"If you get the intelligence community to apply some of its analytic capabilities to this issue, it could be compelling to whoever is sitting in the White House," said Anne Harrington , director of the committee on international security at the National Academy of Sciences in Washington. "If the White House does not absorb the independent scientific expertise, then maybe something from the intelligence community might have more weight."

When confronted by scientists who refuse to toe the party line on global warming, it's always in the best tradition of the scientific process to turn to Lysenkoism.

There's not much else to say about this story. You can't parody a farce.

Hatched by Dafydd on this day, April 10, 2007, at the time of 4:49 PM

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Tracked on April 10, 2007 10:02 PM

Comments

The following hissed in response by: Mr. Michael

If you get the intelligence community to apply some of its analytic capabilities to this issue, it could be compelling to whoever is sitting in the White House

Odd... the Democrats are turning for expertise to the one group in the United States Government MOST responsible for the unproven theory that there were WMD's in Iraq. When it's not proven that Man has NOT created Global Climate Change through technology, will the Democrats blame the Congress or the President?

Rhetorical question.

The above hissed in response by: Mr. Michael at April 10, 2007 4:56 PM

The following hissed in response by: Mr. Michael

Um, er... double nots there.

"When it si not proven that Man has created Global" Etc. etc.

Thank you for your patience.

The above hissed in response by: Mr. Michael at April 10, 2007 4:58 PM

The following hissed in response by: KarmiCommunist

i live in Florida. Tonight, 10 April of 2007, i'm once again wearing a wool loincloth after buying a dozen cotton ones two weeks ago.

Enough said...

The above hissed in response by: KarmiCommunist at April 10, 2007 5:15 PM

The following hissed in response by: AMR

Surely you jest, oh great, all knowing lizard. Assuming you are not, now if only the Islamicfascists declare they are for restricting us human's impact on climate, they could become allies against Bushitler. Oh wait, the Islamicfascists want to return to the 7th century; a time when man was innocent of climate change influence. What a great grand strategy the Democrats have devised! And you have said that they have no alternative policy. Why didn't I think of that! Now we can all die laughing.

I am going to have fun with this when I write politicians, which is my natural inclination. I’d better hurry though, that national suicide pact appears to have received approval from the highest authorities in the Party. Time is short!

The above hissed in response by: AMR at April 10, 2007 7:21 PM

The following hissed in response by: Towering Barbarian

Hubris in politicians amuses me as long as it doesn't take the rest of the country with them. ^_^;

[Inserts tongue firmly in cheek]

I do see an eventual parting of ways between the jihadis and our liberal friends though. Once the environmentalists realize that the jihadis are quite serious about returning things to the days of the 7th Century you just *know* that they'll turn fiercely against the jihadis simply because a 7th Century society would be too high tech to suit the tastes of the average environmentalist! ^_~

The above hissed in response by: Towering Barbarian at April 10, 2007 11:15 PM

The following hissed in response by: MTF

It's now inevitable, given the similarity of beliefs and rhetoric between the Congress and Zawahiri/Bin Laden. The next step is obviously aa As-Sahab video exhorting all people, Islamofascists and everyone else, to take up arms against America and Americans in defense of the weather.

The above hissed in response by: MTF at April 11, 2007 7:59 AM

The following hissed in response by: charlotte

I can't even laugh about this. As taxed and maxed out as the Pentagon is while we're at war on several fronts and as full of rotten intel and PC "analysis" the CIA is, only bad will come of this transnationl faux issue, from the weakening of our defense to plundering of our economy.

The Dems and RINOS are becoming seriously unfunny, unhinged and unAmerican.

The above hissed in response by: charlotte at April 11, 2007 11:25 AM