Big Lizards:Blog:Entry “Money - It's a Crime... (Clinton Judges, Take 1)”

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November 30, 2006

Money - It's a Crime... (Clinton Judges, Take 1)

Hatched by Dafydd

A federal judge just ruled that money is discriminatory.

No, really:

The government discriminates against blind people by printing money that all looks and feels the same, a federal judge said Tuesday in a ruling that could change the face of American currency.

U.S. District Judge James Robertson ordered the Treasury Department to come up with ways for the blind to tell bills apart. He said he wouldn't tell officials how to fix the problem, but he ordered them to begin working on it.

The American Council of the Blind has proposed several options, including printing bills of differing sizes, adding embossed dots or foil to the paper or using raised ink.

And here's a shocker: Judge James Robertson was appointed by -- wait for it -- President Bill Clinton! He was nominated in 1994 and approved that same year, when Democrats still controlled the White House, the Senate, and the House (which evidently didn't violate the "separation of powers" doctrine and wasn't the sign of a looming "unitary executive" -- as it was during the time that Republicans controlled all three branches).

So what is wrong with this picture? Simply this: Judge Robertson evidently believes that if a person has a disability, then it is the duty of society at large (which means the taxpayers) to reinvent itself in order to "reenable" him, to make him whole. In other words, if Joe is blind, it is society's duty to completely compensate for his blindness... to make blindness utterly non-disabling.

Because otherwise, society is discriminating against Joe by not compensating him for his own handicap. They are violating the equal-protection clause of the 14th Amendment and the Americans with Disabilities Act of Blob Dole.

In the march of risible court decisions, whose lineage is as long as Adam's and Eve's, this may perhaps be the most asinine in court history. Now there's a record to inspire awe!

By the same reasoning, every public library in the country discriminates against blind people unless it carries a Braille copy of every single book in the collection. And every CD is discriminatory unless the complete score and lyrics of all songs are printed somewhere on the jewel case (preferably also in Braille, if we don't want to discriminate against people who are both deaf and blind!)

Or maybe this only applies to government facilities and programs. Fair enough; I accept the limitation. But at some point, the Grand Canyon must install loudspeakers permanently droning on, as they describe the view from every scenic outlook, for the benefit of blind tourists.

And those funny chirps and yelps that the pedestrian crosswalk lights emit to tell blind walkers when to cross are good but not enough: hasn't anybody given a thought to the poor, beleagured, and discriminated against blind drivers? The traffic signals themselves should scream out their current color -- in every language that the local community employs to print government forms. Heavens, man! On your feet!

Naturally, every house must be retrofitted with a flashing indoor warning light that illuminates every room with a hellish glow in the event the air-raid sirens blow... else how will the deaf know to duck and cover?

Speaking (or signing) of which, don't public concerts in the city park violate somebody's right not to be inconvenienced in any way by his own deafness? Either stop them or supply earplugs to the hearing unimpaired so all will be equally unable to enjoy Beethoven's Ninth Symphony -- or at least enjoy it no better than he himself could.

And what about public auctions of property seized from drug dealers... how can the mute bid on the Ferraris and cigarette boats the DEA has cluttering up their warehouses? I suppose they could wave their hands to signal a bid. Unless they're blind, in which case they won't know how much money they have.

We needn't even get into the Boston and L.A. marathons; sure, the wheelchair bound can run (well, roll) in them... but it's nearly impossible for them to win! What an inconvenience. Next Thursday, I understand Judge Robertson will issue a preliminary ruling (in the case of Harrison Bergeron v. the People) that henceforth, all able-bodied marathon runners will be required to carry weights, like jockeys, just to even things up.

And now we come to the pizza resistance, the clowning glory: I've noticed that when I fill out my income tax return, it taxes my brain quite a bit to follow those labyrinthian instructions on the back of each form. It's a good thing I'm smart and literate. But many Americans -- some of them people of color! -- are neither smarter than the average nor particularly good at reading legalese. (In fact, I read somewhere that as much as half the population is below median IQ. I'm sorry, I can't find the citation.)

Clearly this goes far beyond a disadvantage: there are actual measurable damages here, as these people cannot fill out their own tax returns and must hire CPAs or lawyers to do it for them. Ouch!

Now, one way to resolve this problem is for Judge Robertson to order the IRS to make their forms simple enough that even a simpleton can fill them out. But this doesn't completely solve the problem, as many people fall below the medical community's precise measurement of simpletonhood. Ness. Hood. Whatevery.

Besides, it's clearly beyond the purview of the courts to order the IRS to do its job.

Since there is no way to raise every (I'm reading the official categories in order of increasing dumbth) moron, dolt, bonehead, cementhead, halfwit, lackwit, numbskull, vacuum brain, microcephalic, and Katzenjammer up to the level of smarties, the only alternative is to lower the rest of society down to the level of the lunkheaded.

Judge Robertson has already been considering possibilities, including the forced watching of Gilligan's Island reruns interspersed around the Best Boy's cut of An Inconvenient Truth. But the judge indicates he would leave up to Congress which particular season of the sitcom, as the federal judiciary must not overstep its jurisdiction.

Speaking of inconvenient truths, here's one: disabled people are not as able as able-bodied people. That's more or less the definition of "disabled."

Thus, there are some things they simply cannot do, or at least not do as well as others. Of course, I can't dance like Fred Astaire or play baseball as well as Fidel Castro (in his youth; I could probably hold my own today)... so there are compensations. Try as the courts might, I'm skeptical they will be able to make everybody in the country equal in ability to everybody else; they can, however, succeed in making us all equally poor and equally miserable. In fact, they're well underway along this road already.

Instead of trying to equalize everybody's experience of life, perhaps they should focus on ensuring that everybody, including the white male Christian, has equal justice before the court and under the law, and around the bend, over the rainbow, and through the woods to Grandmother's house.

Heck, that should be hard enough, what with the whole OJ Simpson/Robert Blake phenomenon.

Hatched by Dafydd on this day, November 30, 2006, at the time of 2:56 AM

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» Federal Judge Rules Money Discriminates from Joe's Dartblog
...by not being discriminatory. The trouble is that, since all bills are the same size and shape, the blind cannot tell them apart. All of a sudden, a judge has discovered a brand new discrimination! What I wonder is this:... [Read More]

Tracked on December 1, 2006 5:54 AM

Comments

The following hissed in response by: Terrye

My mother lost her sight. She only went to one grocery store where we could trust the check out lady not to rip her off. They also helped her get the groceries. Blind people have to eat too.

We devised a plan to mark her money. The ones stayed flat, the fives were turned down at a corner and the twenties were folded in half. She tried to stay away from larger bills.

The above hissed in response by: Terrye at November 30, 2006 4:29 AM

The following hissed in response by: Dafydd ab Hugh

Terrye:

You mean -- your mother and her family, her loved ones, her friends, and the local community -- those who actually cared about her well being -- resolved the problem themselves without recourse to the federal government?

Didn't this used to be what America stood for? E pluribus unum: out of many, one.

Soon the federal judiciary will enunciate nation-wide laws for babysitting.

Dafydd

The above hissed in response by: Dafydd ab Hugh at November 30, 2006 5:09 AM

The following hissed in response by: Lib-O-Suxion

Never, never understimate the stupidity of a liberal (oops, progressive) judge. Remember, that many of those who went to law school (particularly libs), have never held a position in which they had to create anything (or think, for that matter).

The above hissed in response by: Lib-O-Suxion at November 30, 2006 6:27 AM

The following hissed in response by: Cowgirl

Dafydd! A brilliant and very fun read. Thanx.

The above hissed in response by: Cowgirl at November 30, 2006 6:40 AM

The following hissed in response by: DrMalaka

I think it would be cheaper for the federal government to hire an individual money man for every blind person than redo all the money in the country.

Has anyone ever read The Quest For Cosmic Justice, by Thomas Sowell? The book is about these types of things, how libs are always looking to undo what nature gave us. Through their programs and the courts they can meter out not justice under the law but justice under the cosmos.

Does anyone know if the government going to appeal this?

Terrye, you better watch what you say, people like you who depend on themselves are not what Pelosi and her friends believe in as the American way. People like you need to be made an example of. How dare you do the work of the government!

The above hissed in response by: DrMalaka at November 30, 2006 6:45 AM

The following hissed in response by: septagon

It seems like you have to have a reasoning disability to become a Federal Judge. The equal protection clause of the 14th amendment was originally intended to make government apply laws in the same manner to all individuals. Federal Judges have found a way to construe this clause to make government treat certain special classes of individuals differently.

DrMalaka
I have read The Quest for Cosmic Justice, and I would have to says that the last thing Liberials in this country are interested in is justice. They are anointed by their Vision and those that do not agreed shall be cast out. They care only about their intentions and take no responsibility for the consequences.

The above hissed in response by: septagon at November 30, 2006 9:52 AM

The following hissed in response by: Terrye

yes we did. silly us.

The above hissed in response by: Terrye at November 30, 2006 12:35 PM

The following hissed in response by: Dafydd ab Hugh

DrMalaka:

Has anyone ever read The Quest For Cosmic Justice, by Thomas Sowell? The book is about these types of things, how libs are always looking to undo what nature gave us. Through their programs and the courts they can mete out not justice under the law but justice under the cosmos.

Oddly enough, that's one of Sowell's books that's been on my "to read" list for some time, but I never remember to buy it. I was totally blown away by the Vision of the Anointed, which I consider one of the greatest political books of all time. How does Cosmic compare to that masterpiece?

(I'm pretty certain the feds will appeal the order to change all the nation's money.)

Dafydd

The above hissed in response by: Dafydd ab Hugh at November 30, 2006 2:32 PM

The following hissed in response by: Bill Faith

And even worse, we don't let them drive, either! When's the lawsuit on that one coming?

The above hissed in response by: Bill Faith at November 30, 2006 4:31 PM

The following hissed in response by: KarmiCommunist

If the World is Sane...then i am Insane.

Humble Low and Ignorant Insane swamp hermit me is clearly insane...

Psychologists tend to avoid me soon after an interview and/or test. Psychiatrists...about the same. Humble me thinks that they know that i see thru their sanity...so to speak.

Anyway, i've only seen a few of them...one had died on top of a young woman, in his upstairs Coconut Grove condo's Master bedroom, whilst his wife was downstairs, 'Doing' the young woman's younger boyfriend on the sofa.

The Sane World *BAFFLES* the Insane...so to speak.

Judges are usually either elected, or appointed by some elected official. i've met lots of them in court (on both 'Sides' of the Court Room), and they impress insane me about as much as 'Shrinks' do; however, one is in a position of power because they earned it...the other was basically put there by sane voters.

Anyway, back to my point here...Federal Judges are not the problem, so-called "Sane Voters" are/is the problem, in my humble opinion.

Since Psychologists and Psychiatrists tend to try to avoid me, i've spent years doing "self-analysis". Heck, the 'Shrinks' not only missed 'Da Ball, they don't even have a clue as to what game they're even in or playing in.

OK...some results of my self-analysis:

1) i am "Antisocial"...hey hey hey. Sorry, but i have seen the results of communism, socialism, fascism, and have been in personal relationships (married 13 time, and i won't get into the one night stands or live-in's).

2) i seldom (if ever) lie; however, i see nothing wrong with taking what i want from someone who is protecting it, unable to protect it, or is unwilling to protect it. "Psychopathic"? "Sociopathic"? "Schizoid"? "Schizotypal" (there's a dualistic word, huh)?

They find their social isolation painful...

(OK...is that akin to being bad, even if one enjoys being a hermit?!? What if so-called pain and so-called suffering are mere communistic, socialistic, fascistic, and/or personal relationshipistic dualistic terms that far too many humans use to describe hermits?)

3) Laws (the human ones) cannot be broken, unless some group of people elect Judges, or elect officials to appoint Judges to judge so-called "crime". Example of Sane Human Law: Hermit me goes to *BIG* Town one day, because USPS and UPS won't bring my ordered package to my hut-step, and i am forced to pick it up. Jimmy Democrat (and his bikini clad daughter) is in front of me. He has to pay, in order to get his package, and shifts his permitted pistol in order to break out a wad of Gringo Dollars that attracts my attention. i pick up my package, and start walking home. On the way home, i find Jimmy and his bikini clad daughter stranded by their broken down Mercedes-Benz. What the heck...i slap the dog-**** outa Jimmy, take his pistol, take his money, and take his bikini clad daughter. A year later, i am arrested for assault, robbery, kidnapping, rape, and other assorted so-called "crimes".

"A man's greatest work is to break his enemies, to drive them before him, to take from them all the things that have been theirs, to hear the weeping of those who cherished them, to take their horses between his knees and to press in his arms, the most desirable of their women." -Genghis Khan

Basically, my self-analysis has revealed that it is OK to avoid human contact, until a time that America gets prunned...so to speak of what Mother Nature has planned.

In the meantime, i shall wait, prepare, and be grateful for such human chaos.

KårmiÇømmünîs†

The above hissed in response by: KarmiCommunist at November 30, 2006 5:20 PM

The following hissed in response by: Dafydd ab Hugh

KarmiCommunist:

Watch the language, KC; there are ladies present.

Dafydd

The above hissed in response by: Dafydd ab Hugh at November 30, 2006 6:56 PM

The following hissed in response by: DrMalaka

Dafydd: I just finished Vision of the Anointed and really liked it, Sowell is at a different level in his ability to reason and make concise points. Quest was absolutely a quaility book, an easier read than Vision, but certainly extremely informative. I actually have two copies but they are both at my mother's place in Florida (don't ask why I have two copies and why both are at my mom's, I have no clue), if you have not read it by January I should be down there and can send you one of the copies. Black Rednecks is also amazing, logic and a history lesson all in one.

Here is the link to the favorite icon page I found. This one is super easy, it takes any image from your computer and instantly generates the favorite icon, you do want to try to get an image that is roughly equal in width and height. Totally easy.

http://www.chami.com/html-kit/services/favicon/

The above hissed in response by: DrMalaka at November 30, 2006 9:21 PM

The following hissed in response by: Dick E

Dafydd-